I watched Cirque du Soleil’s ‘Varekai’ on DVD a few days ago. It made me smile. It made me feel awe. I was inspired.
I love the whole artistry of it, the performance, and most of all I love the acrobatics. My whole life I have found so much beauty in a pointed foot, ballet hands, and the lines created by flexibility.
My dad was watching the DVD with me but he got up and left because he said it didn’t interest him and made him want to fall asleep. For me, it overwhelms me with an indescribable feeling of wonder, the same feeling I get when I look at the stars.
I want to pay more attention to the things that make me feel this way because these are the things that mean something to me. They bring me joy, add value to my life, and make me come alive. I want to value and appreciate them more and surround myself with them.
To do this, I need to first identify the things I value, then find ways to add them in my everyday life. I want to find my sparks and follow them without feeling guilty for them.
Not everyone will understand what gives me a spark. Not everyone will agree with following these sparks. But after a lifetime of following outside voices and a year of learning I need to be myself, this is what I feel I need to do in this next stage of my journey. I don’t want to ignore my sparks and follow other people’s sparks.
I want to follow my sparks, not only because they make me come alive, but because these are things I can offer others. I want to pass on the love, beauty, and appreciation of dance, books, creativity, learning, and music.
And ultimately, these sparks are where I see God most in this world, and when I get into depressive funks, they matter.
2016 will be about finding and following my sparks.