Art: I Don’t Fit Anywhere

I Don’t Fit Anywhere – I’m a giant jagged piece embracing my edges
I Don’t Fit Anywhere – I’m a giant jagged piece embracing my edges

18th January 2015, Prismacolor pencils on A3 cartridge paper

Sometimes I look around and it feels like everyone else has their place. They know who they are and where they belong, and everyone else knows this about them too. They are neat, clearly defined shapes fitting perfectly into holes made just for them.

Then I look at me and I feel like a ridiculous giant, jagged, ugly piece and I don’t fit anywhere. Sometimes I try to mould myself into a different shape and fit into a hole that isn’t mine. I’ll see a circle and want to be a circle and have their personality. I’ll see a triangle and want to be a triangle and have their talent. I’ll see a square and want to be a square and have their status. All the while I keep trying to see what fits.

I wonder: Is there a hole somewhere that fits me or do I need to change to fit a hole? I get the idea I’m supposed to sit in this tension between staying true to who God made me and letting him mould me to fit the holes he wants me to be in.

Now I’m learning to embrace my jagged edges because they mean I can fit into more than one hole. I’m learning to work with them and fit into the holes for my shape, without comparing myself to others or wanting what they have. Instead, I can appreciate all the different shapes and enjoy everyone’s gifts including my own shape and my own gifts.

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12 thoughts on “Art: I Don’t Fit Anywhere

  1. I love this post and the concept of us being puzzle pieces trying to fit or fill our place. I Corinthians 12, comes to mind. Each of us has a gift and in some way contribute to the body, and the body needs what we bring. I’m enjoying how you are tying your art gift to your gift of writing.

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    1. I love that idea too and that’s one of my favourite passages. The ‘body’ is such a genius concept. I love the diversity and how it just works and everyone is needed and connected. Thanks so much for this great comment.

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  2. I find that you go through that several times in life. Right now all my children have left home and I don’t fit the way I used to. I have to be repurposed for something else. God will do the repurposing. At this moment, I feel kind of empty, but I guess that just means I am ready to be filled up with something new.

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  3. God made each of us unique for a purpose. Each and every one of us has been given gifts and talents God chose specially. Sometimes we may compare our gifts with those around us and wonder why God did not give us something else, but the truth is, our individual gifts are perfect for us. Let us rejoice in the gifts God has given us and rejoice in the way He has made us unique. Who knows, the very ones we look at and wish for their gifts may be the very ones who look at us and wish they had ours.

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    1. I love that. It’s one of the things I’m in awe of and I love that we all have different gifts that are needed and if we all gave our gifts, not one person would miss out. Sometimes I learn that what I saw as neutral is actually a gift. And then I have to learn how to give it. SO fun!

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    1. More than one place to fit is so fun and I love how they change depending on circumstances and life stages, etc. Just would be good to know the places you fit in those moments where you feel you don’t fit anywhere – hehe.

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