I was in the shower and as I went to turn the taps off and push open the glass door, I stopped and kept the water running. I wanted to stay in that watery glass box because standing there was the closest thing to seeing my insides expressed.
I felt like a giant teardrop encased in skin. The water flowed with a freedom that my tears didn’t have. I wanted to wash down a drain in one great gurgling, swirling rush rather than step out on dry land and face the world where my tears felt like they would trickle forever. I always felt like crying and it was like the shower was crying for me when I couldn’t.
I also wanted to write but nothing would come out. Standing in the shower with the water pouring all around me, I was comforted and thankful for this metaphor to give me words (and a picture) to express myself.