21st October 2015, Prismacolor pencils on A3 cartridge paper
When I see people cry, I have a habit of running away. I’m not strong enough when people are broken around me. It messes me up and I don’t know how to deal with it. I run from tears, emotion, brokenness. And then after the crying has stopped, I pretend like it never happened and go back to being happy.
The last time I ran away from someone’s tears, I went to a hill and cried. I felt hurt, alone, broken. I was confused because I didn’t know why I was crying. How did I turn someone else’s tears into my own? How did I make their pain about me?
I was also confused by how fake I felt. How I ran to a hill to cry because I didn’t want anyone to see me crying. It made me think there were distances between people. People put up barriers and we don’t see what’s really underneath when no-one tells each other the pain they’re going through.
People might look okay but they might be breaking. They can keep their wounds hidden, and when you see them, it can hurt. There are sharp things in the world that can hurt us, but sometimes it’s the barriers and hidden tears that hurt.