Art: Step into Scary

All About Scary – Three thoughts about scary
All About Scary – Three thoughts about scary

20th March 2016, Prismacolor pencils on A3 cartridge paper

Thought #1

I was invited to a friend’s wedding and reception. I went to the wedding but didn’t go to the reception. I was afraid.

I was worried that I’d be sitting at a table with people I didn’t know. On another day I may have had the energy and strength to put on my social self, with a smile and boldness to start conversations and enjoy meeting people, but on this day I was doubting my identity and questioning my worth. I couldn’t handle awkwardness, and I had zero confidence or courage.

So when a friend said that she could take me home after the reception, I lied and told her I’d already arranged to be picked up after the wedding. I felt bad about it afterwards. I felt guilty for the lie and for not being there to support my friend. Most of all, I felt bad about how my fear and insecurity could hurt people.

It made me think I should really have a rule or person telling me: If it’s scary, do it. What have I missed because of my fears? How many people have I hurt because of my fears? I feel like I need a person to poke me anytime I think about running from scary. Someone who wouldn’t let me get away with it.

Thought #2

While I was in Melbourne over the Christmas holidays, I met up with a friend for lunch and we talked about our word and theme for the year in 2015. I had inkling that my word might be ‘Scary,’ and the motto might be: ‘Step into scary.’ Jeff Goins and his book Wrecked has a lot to do with this. Before reading it, I was ready to run from scary.

In 2014 I moved to Queensland where I had nothing to lose. I had a clean slate and if people thought I was weird, well, that was okay because no-one knew me and there were no expectations. So it was easy to step out, face challenges and try new things. It was a blast.

Now I had this fear of going back to Queensland because I had something to lose. Now I had a reputation and expectations to live up to, and I didn’t want to risk losing what I had. But I didn’t want this mindset. I wanted to keep facing challenges as if I had nothing to lose. I wanted to keep stepping into scary because Jeff reminded me that scary is where you grow.

Thought #3

On the way from Melbourne to Bowen, we pulled up at some traffic lights. Outside my window there was one of those signs with a black background and small round lights that made letters. The words showed up on the left and moved to the right.

I read the words as they appeared, “Do one thing every day that . . .”

I thought it was going to say something like, “. . . makes someone smile.”

Then I read: “. . . scares you.”

Great, I thought, thanks God. Getting the message loud and clear. It’s all about stepping into scary.

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11 thoughts on “Art: Step into Scary

  1. My Theme for 2015: Strugglecast.
    Everything was, and is, a test. Pain, frustration, and Perseverance. Exhaustion is real. But my fuel was positive juice, and pouring into the lives of others regardless of what I was experiencing.

    My 2016 theme, I hope to be, is A Beautiful Harvest. Full Blooming Rewards, and an over abundance of love, laughs, and smooth flow.

    I wish your 2016 to be amazing, and healing. May tears of joy replace any tears of sadness.
    Step into your next journey 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. While reading your post I remembered of Eleanor Roosevelt’s quote: “Do one thing that scares you everyday”

    When doing so we conquer our fears and learn how to live life more fully. Loved your insights about your self-discovery.

    Like

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