June 2016, Prismacolor on A3 cartridge paper
This is another picture inspired by Christa Black Gifford’s Heart Made Whole.
Christa wrote that she used to see her heart as an enemy that always worked against her. That’s exactly how I saw my heart. I didn’t trust it because I always thought it betrayed me and hurt me. I wanted nothing to do with it and tried to shut it out. My heart was a no-go zone.
But God gave us a heart that was originally pure and whole. It becomes wounded and feels pain but the heart itself is a good thing. When we don’t think it is a good thing, we condemn it and deny it.
I condemned and denied my heart because I felt guilty for having a wounded heart. But Heart Made Whole showed me that you can be a Christian and have a broken heart. There is no shame in having a broken heart or feeling pain.
It showed me that emotions aren’t bad. They’re important because they reveal the condition of the heart. It also showed me that pain isn’t bad. It tells us there is a problem that is hurting us and we need to deal with it or it will keep hurting us.
So I need to listen to my heart and see it as my friend instead of my enemy. I need to identify my emotions and express them instead of hate them and ignore them. I need to take my heart to God instead of hide it from him because it’s not my job to heal my heart. Only he can heal the heart he created.