Sometimes it feels like the most impossible thing in the world is to be myself.
I want to write. But I don’t want to write, because what I write sounds fake and not what I really want to say, not what I really mean. And if words can’t say what I really mean, what’s the point of writing them?
I want to find true words. Not to impress anyone, not to put on a show. Just to tell the truth. It doesn’t have to be pretty and people don’t have to like it, it just has to be real. I don’t want to hide what I really sound like and what’s in my heart to keep a clean picture of myself in front of people’s eyes.
I don’t want to be compelling; I just want to be me. To be me at least in one way, at least in one place.
Writing and drawing let me be me. There is no pressure to be a certain way. My words and pictures don’t judge me. They just share what is, the way I experience things. It helps.